Well, this post is going to be a little bit different than most of what we do around here. Oh don’t worry, it’ll still be full of made-up information and tomfoolery, it’s just that we got a special request from a reader to do this post. A reader named Keith. Naturally, we had to oblige.
Here is what Keith tasked us with: “Pretend all the members of VP had to re-audition. If you guys could pick the ideal audition song for each guy, what would it be and why?”
Wellllll shoot. Given our lack of musical knowledge and general incompetence when it comes to these sorts of things, we’re not sure why Keith would want to know our opinions on such matters. For all we know, he just enjoys laughing at our ignorance. And really, who could blame him? We’re pretty hilarious, at least when we’re horribly wrong about things.
But, we’re not two to pass up a Kevin-issued challenge, and so we dove in and attempted to come up with a song for each of the 13 VP members we currently acknowledge. Um… just don’t expect us to have nailed their vocal ranges or personal tastes or anything. Or to have picked songs that would translate well to a solo a cappella excerpt for a mind-blowing audition. Again, we’re aca-stupid here at TMtP (so, shh… while we gave it our best effort, honestly we just kinda picked songs we like).
In no particular order (except Jon goes first since he’s the Mayor of Favorite-town this week):
Jon — “Storybook Love” by Willy DeVille and Mark Knopfler
You guys know how much we love “The Princess Bride.” And Ben-Jon has taken over the kind / sincere / earnest mantle from Mikey, so this seems like a natural fit. He would smooth out the song a bit, and we think he’d make it just the loveliest thing any of us have heard.
Trevor — “Where You Are” by Marc Broussard
As you can see here, this song can be adapted to a cappella quite well. It seems like the kind of song you could really dig into and have a moment with. It’s also modern and fresh… just like Trevor?
Jake T. — “Dance with Me” by the Wonders
Beaker is quite the little bopper, and we think he could have some fun with this jaunty number. We’ll also take any chance to get Steve Zahn on the blog, so here ya go.
Landon — “Be With You” by Mr. Big
Landon seems like the kind of guy who could rock the slow jam power ballad without coming off like a big ol’ cheeseball. And this song is just a classic, isn’t it? We’d totally be curious to see how this combo played out.
Ben — “Chasing the Daylight” by Phillip Larue
Originally we were thinking of “I See the Light” from Tangled, perhaps because we’ve heard the recording of Ben singing it himself. But then we decided that would be a cop-out, and we’ve never been ones to take the easy way out. So, since “light” was already on our mind, we thought of this little under-appreciated gem. Ben’s smooth voice would totally melt right into this song, wouldn’t it?
Mikey — “Come On, Let’s Go” by Los Lobos
We decided to go the fun route for Mike on this one. We imagine this to be in the same vein as “Don’t Be Cruel,” one of our all-time favorite Mikey moments. We can just picture him smiling his way through the number, his innate Mikey-ness shining through.
Tyler — “I Won’t Give Up” by Jason Mraz
Tyler’s kind of a hard one to pin down, as we don’t get to hear him sing out front on lead too much. That being said, we like the idea of him taking on this plaintive and sweetly determined song. It just seems like a good idea to us.
Tanner — “Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes” by Paul Simon
Now, we’re assuming that Tanner would do a kick-awesome vocal percussion audition that none of us can even fathom. But then he’d probably need to do a straightforward singing audition too, right? Well, we think he would sound just amazing on anything by Paul Simon, and we’re particularly excited by the thought of him on this song (the intro runs for a while, but it’s great, so we don’t recommend skipping it; the song proper starts at 1:25).
Keith — “Mercy” by OneRepublic
Right? Right? Totally something Keith would just nail. As vocally interesting as “Grace Kelly” but with a bit more serious message. For what it’s worth, we imagine it to be more like this version (we prefer that kid’s and Keith’s voices over Ryan Tedder’s voice).
Ross — “Take this Heart” by Richard Marx
Oh, if we could only explain to y’all how much we loved Richard Marx when we were growing up. He was definitely in the rotation of boyfriends for our Barbies. And don’t dismiss this as a cheesy early-90s number. Oh no, we legitimately like this song. And we think Ross would be great on it (it took a really strong choice to lure us away from Savage Garden, just so you know).
Robert — “Drive” by Bobby McFerrin
We didn’t want to go the typical bass route, because we think Robert is better than the typical bass. We mean, of course we’d love to hear him sing “16 Tons” or whatever, but for reals… he could blow everyone away with “Drive.” We already know that he does a mean engine impersonation (im-auto-ation?). Plus, there’s even some overtone-sounding things in here!
McKay — “Slumber” by Needtobreathe
Um, yes please! This is a rocking, positive, beast of a song that McKay would just own. It’s so in his wheelhouse it’s not even funny. Like, how is it possible he’s not already singing it?
Creepy Jake — “Rock Me Amadeus” by Falco
It’s the best thing ever, right? Can you imagine anything better in life than Creepy Jake rapping in German to this treasure of ’80s pop? Just Creepy Jake-ing all over the place? Most. Epic. Thing. Ever. It would just be the best. But, alas, ol’ Hunsaker has been refusing to bring the Creepy in the same quantities that he used to, and so this may be a futile dream. In that case, may we suggest:
Jake H. — “Come What May” by Ewan McGregor
We mean, if we can’t get Falco, we guess we could settle for this.
So, there you have it. Our completely uninformed, yet we-tried-our-hardest attempt at picking out songs for each Vocal Pointer if they had to re-audition to stay in the group. Best wishes to everyone who is auditioning this week! Don’t take any musical advice from us, but make sure you have fun and enjoy the experience!
-Troi and Crusher